The Alexander & Maya Duet: Lost Heartbeats by Maise Ella

Author:Maise, Ella [Maise, Ella]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2015-12-02T08:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

Alexander

You know that moment when you first wake up and everything is up in the air? Your eyes try to adjust to the light, your breathing changes. Then, finally, your mind starts to catch up with reality and you realize that the life you were living just seconds ago was simply a dream—or a nightmare in some cases—and nothing about it was real. Just a fragment of your imagination.

Simply put, your mind is fucking with you.

Six days… It had been six days since I had talked to Lucas the last time, and every nightmare I had was a repeat of the same ending of that day. The doctor informing us about the complications, and that he was sorry. Natalie a crying mess in my arms, Lucas gone forever.

All because his little heart couldn’t hold on…

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Despite everything going on in my mind, I was very aware of the warm naked body that was holding on to me as if I was a lifeline. Perhaps for Maya I was. She sure as hell was the only thing that was holding me together at that moment.

Gently detangling myself from her arms, I took care not to jostle her. She was still deep in her sleep. Her lips were slightly tipped up as if she was having a good dream. A happy ending for her.

I let my fingertips trail from her jawbone to her full lips. Grunting, she turned her back to me, and I followed suit, not letting her get away from my touch.

Before she could settle down at the other side of the bed, I dragged her back against my chest. A sweet sigh escaped her lips, but other than that she didn’t wake up. Pressing my forehead against her shoulder, I tried to think of a way out of the hell hole that was my life now. I found Maya’s hand and gripped it lightly. I needed our connection to keep me grounded. To not get lost.

Since she seemed content with our new position and didn’t try to move away, I drifted off again. I knew I wasn’t fully asleep, but it didn’t stop me from seeing Natalie’s tear stricken face as she cried and died a thousand deaths in my arms, dragging me along with her.

Maybe it hadn’t been the best decision to leave her alone in the aftermath of the death of her son, but I couldn’t stay with her. I couldn’t be what she needed me to be before I could deal with my grief in my own way. Otherwise, I was afraid we would just drag each other in an endless pit of self-destruction.

Maya was the only one who could understand my pain. Or more likely, the only one I wanted to share my pain with. Would I have come after her if I wasn’t dealing with a loss this big?

I’d been planning to. Two months after she had left, I’d had Adam buy me a ticket.

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